Monday, April 22, 2013

UGH....just ugh.

Hey everyone!

Hope you're all doing well! I've been feeling helpless the past few days. If you're unaware (I'm not quite sure how you could be at this point-lol) but, I broke my wrist last week. And it sucks. I really can't do much. I have to rely on people just to get my basic needs met (shower, hair,etc.). I hate having to ask for help with everything...EVERYTHING. UGH! As a result of said injury, I can't really cook much, because I can't chop anything, & it blows. As a result, my paleo life has been suffering. It freaks me out that my old habits could come back so quickly. It was like I had never even started paleo. But I'm happy to say that I'm back on the wagon. I'm not going back to where I was- ever. I've worked too hard to get here.
 Sorry to sound like a Debbie Downer, but this really effing sucks. I have no idea how para or quadriplegics do it. I'm not sure it's possible, but I have even more respect for them than I already do! I know I should be grateful that I only broke it, & it will heal, but right now I can't help but feel sorry for myself.

I  only went to crossfit twice last week.  I felt so terrible about myself. It was almost like I was having withdrawals. But I was feeling like a nuisance in class, since I need to have legit everything scaled, & I still didn't have a hard cast on, so I took some time off. All I've been hearing from my mom is "you should just walk or do the elliptical & eat less." I love my mom, & I wouldn't be anything without her, but if I hear this one more time, I'm going to off myself. I know she wants me to be safe, but she's not understanding that Mike is working hard to make sure the WODs are scaled appropriately for me. When showing me how to do certain movements, he even makes pretend he has a sling on! I could not love him more- seriously- I know I say it every time  but he's the best! Eventually, my mom will come around, but for now I'll just have to keep her out of my head, & continue on my journey.

I just got my hard cast on today- so I'm hoping things will get better, but I don't know. The doctor read my CT scan from Friday, & let me know that I actually broke my radius in 14 places! And I also may have a torn ligament in the wrist. Awesome news for a Monday. So, I'm in the cast for 6-8 weeks, & I'll most likely have to do physical therapy after- Which I don't care about b/c I had physical therapy on my back last year, & the therapist was so hot! LOL. Ohh Travis- he was awesome- sort of looking forward to seeing him!

I'm finally going back to work tomorrow. Dare I say I'm glad to be going back to my normal routine? Maybe I should ask myself how I feel after tomorrow...off to bed now- leaving my negative thoughts behind, & focusing on how far I've come. This is just a temporary setback, & I'll get through this. Thanks to everyone who has/is encouraging me to keep gettin' after it...Love you all! <3


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